So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
