i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
