how can u be prego again
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
