She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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