Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
