I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize