ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How does one acquire holy water?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
