how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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