You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
