ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
