I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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