better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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