I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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