Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
