once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
