i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
