Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
