But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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