do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i think i just lost a toe
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
