I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize