Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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