He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
