I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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