shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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