PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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