Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
