there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
