Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
