I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
