I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
