How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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