I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
