Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
