I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
