"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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