My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
