Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
