She is in my trunk
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
