And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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