It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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