if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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