I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
