8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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