Cold hands, warm shart.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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