i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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