just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
