Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
