How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
