YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
