I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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