So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
In America we eat man semen.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
