im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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