Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
