Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize