just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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