How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
