Where is the hickey?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize