God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Houston, we have a blender
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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