I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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