i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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