Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
